A Walk in the Woods: Spring Semester in China

Spread: Walk in the Woods
Deck: Tarot of the Magical Forest
Date: Saturday 12/27/08, 11pm

1. where I start – Death
2. fears (twig snaps) – Wheel RV
3. comfort (shawl) – 10 of Wands
4. unexpected (deer) – Tower (clarification: Page of Wands)
5. lesson learned (owl) – Temperance
6. where the journey ends (outcome) – Judgement

This is a real majors-heavy spread: only one out of six cards was a minor (except for a seventh card for clarification).  This is not very typical for me, and I take this to mean it’ll be a pretty “big” time period, one that will have a big impact in my life — but this is something I could guess beforehand.  It starts with Death, which is appropriate, because I’m leaving one life and starting another.  I’m afraid that this is not what I’m supposed to be doing (Wheel of Fortune RV); I originally planned to go for two semesters starting this fall, but last October decided I would also go for this spring.  I’m particularly afraid it will have negative consequences for my relationship with B, not just the long-distance-relationships-are-tough kind, but rather the relationship-on-the-verge-of-ending kind.  This plays on some earlier fears and guilt I’ve had about going adventuring in a new country while B stays in a job that he hates, even though he’s assured me I have no reason to feel guilty.  However, I’ll have a lot on my plate to keep me busy (10 of Wands), which may help me have less time to fret about stuff.

There will be some unexpected event that could really shake things up (the Tower), not quite sure if I can do anything in advance for this except to be brave and creative in my reaction to it (Page of Wands).  The main lesson I’ll learn this spring will be finding balance in my life (Temperance).  Actually, one of my hopes is that my time in China will help me be a more independent and mature person, especially in my ability to juggle a physically and spiritually healthy lifestyle, rewarding but demanding job, my relationship with B, and a social life with new friends and social networking — a balance I wasn’t able to find in China, but I’ll need to find in order to be a sane public school teacher with a family.

The Judgement card came up as an outcome, which I see as a few different possibilities: perhaps I’ll finally not feel guilty about going to China while B is in the U.S., which is good, because I’ll be going back again this fall after a few weeks visiting B; however, perhaps I won’t feel guilty because B will be in a new city and starting a new career by going to law school, rather than because I’ve learned to not feel guilty.  Or maybe this represents the feeling of triumphantly returning to the U.S. after many lovely adventures and experiences, successfully completing a first semester of teaching and living in the culture and language I’ve studied.  This is actually my first time getting Judgement in a reading, so I’m still figuring this card out.